i'm so hesitant, i need to blog.

there are often times in life where you really feel you could start over. let me re-phrase; start fresh. i am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. i believe this boy walked into my life for a reason, and i cant let him walk away. in this short time we've known/gotten to know each other, i already feel something. of course though; feelings grow. i love this kid so much and i dont want things to change.

he's so much fun to be around. just talking; we laugh. we just have fun. i'm scared that things will change cause i say too much, do too much, yada yada.

he means a lot.

best feeling ever?

seeing jax walk into sacrament today.

the L word.

ya know, i have such strong feelings about this word. so strong that i feel obligated to blog about it. teenage relationships intrigue me because you dont know anything until you've been through one. yes, some people who have never gotten the opportunity feel like "they're so immature!" or "PDA is gross!" while i definitely agree with this group of individuals, ya dont know if you havent gone through it.

the L word means something people!! dont throw it out there like its valentines day and you're in kindergarten! love is such a strong feeling. have you been in love? i think you'd know if you have. however, i do find it comical the different codes about the phrase itself.

luv ya!--total seventh grade phrase. you and your friend are "IM"ing and you suddenly G2G, so this statement would be implied.

love ya:)--for the more (take that lightly) mature kids that are just trying to express how they feel without coming off too strong and stalkerish.

love you.--this is when it gets serious folks. this show serious affection. you care about this person deeply.

i. love. you. --k this is no joke. the simple letter "i" means more than anything! if someone says this to you, its a big deal. they are forever endowed to you.

haha this is my way of being comical when i'm hurting.

(:

what a good night.

gotta love sundays!

gotta grow up.

being a teen you quickly learn a couple of things. 

     1. your parents dont make your decisions.

     2. as much as they want to control you, you run your life.

     3. you decide what your future is like.

laying in bed this morning i soon realized how tired i was from preference the night before. looking out the window watching the snow fall, i wanted so badly to pull the covers over my head and just fight going to church. after thinking about it, is the fight worth it? atleast for me, after sitting at home for those three hours, you dont feel better about yourself, frankly you feel worse. so i got up. i went to church. 

my point is this. even though your parents want to run your life, they dont. even though they think they can decide who you date, who you hang out with, what you do on your friday night, they cant. they CAN decide to be a part of it, they'll regret it if they dont. for me, i just want support. i watch as friends parents lose power over their teen and it turns into a battle. 

i promise you this; if you decide to be a part of your teenagers life, they will more likely make better decisions. if you're negative towards them and dont talk to them about the necessaries, they will rebel. 

be careful.

just my luck.

well here comes a beautiful weekend!! great weather, long weekend, and of course, preference:) well because life is just that good, today i got diagnosed with pink eye! (this infection definitely doesnt call for the word diagnose. however, i cannot see at all. driving to drop my bug off at the dealership today, i nearly died. you dont realize how much you use something until its gone, or in my case, impaired. tears stream down my face, just cause my left eye thinks it can. lets hope it doesnt get worse. cam's gonna think i'm uber hot with this swollen shut eye!