bye blog.

this blog used to be an escape and now it's just a joke. I used to enjoy posting but I sure don't anymore. so goodbye bloggers!! check ya later.

just what i needed.

i love him. :)

ramble lamba.

let me just tell you whats been going on in my life lately. my love life is sublime. let me just defend myself for a second. SO many people have been saying "you move on so fast, its not real" or "you use him for what he's worth." well you know what. he makes me happier than anyone else ever can. he has had opportunities to date others freely, i haven't kept him on a leash like everyone claims. we're happy together! he's my best friend. i can be my complete self around him. i dont know why i would ever let go of him. he's my hero. yay for him!!

moving on. cheer competition has been kicking my butt lately. never been so sore or tired!! ever. we started last monday and finished on friday. nine stunts, two tumbling passes. running. sprinting. tired. outta breath. gahhh! it'll be so worth it though.

moving on again. i ran a 5k yesterday. won third in my age group. pictures coming soon.

i love my life and the people in it. every day i am more and more grateful for all the many blessings i have.

the weekends.

i have quickly changed settings on weekends. i went from going out with patrick or laying on the couch watching movies with him, to going to parties or hanging out with a bunch of kids at someone's house. i'm refreshed. obviously its been different. but i've stopped listening to the songs we listened to on the way home from movies. i stopped hoping he'd ask me to go be with him after i got outta lame high school. i stopped hoping that he wasnt dating someone else. i stopped hoping he was there for me when i needed someone else. i'm enjoying time with tons of different people! who knows what the future holds, but the timing of the break up was perfect. the week before the term ended so i could actually focus on school for once. and enough time before the holidays so i'm not wishing he's the one taking me to temple square on a snowy night.

things are lookin up readers. dont fret :)

HALLOWEEN.

halloween has always been a perplexing time to me. costumes in particular. here is what i find confusing. we dress up like insects such as bumblebee's and ladybugs. i have no idea what message we are trying to convey here. we dress up like our favorite decade such as a hippie or an 80's chick; to prove, of course, that we're old and mature. we dress up in different classes such as homeless people or the queen of england, to higher or lower ourselves. we dress up like ANYTHING dead; dead cheerleader, dead football player, dead teacher, dead person, anything! we dress up like our idols; the captain of the football team or the ditsiest girl on the cheer squad. but my all time favorite; the slutty girls on halloween. they will dress up like anything and make it slutty. but to you, i say embrace it. i respect that one day a year you can dress up to be whatever you like and thats what you pick. you go girl.

hope you had a happy halloween! here's what i did on mine.

a good friend.

a good friend cleans your windshield when you're too cold to get outta the car.

 

a good friend goes to Farr's Fresh with you when you need comfort food. 

today.

all good things come to an end.

fall break wasnt even good! i had such high hopes for this break. people were either working or out of town or i felt like crap with my rare disease.

anyways. he broke up with me. no easy way to put it. it was a miserable night. but time to move on to bigger and better things right? (see me trying to be positive?;)) i dont care who you are or what the situation is; your self-esteem just drops when you're dumped. didnt see this coming either which makes it suck that much more. but hey, i learned so much about myself and the person i want to be while being with him. so if you're reading, thank you. i value the time we spent together.

great beginning to fall break.

ya see, me and my girls were really sad because this was our last game of regular season. exhibit A:

but then!! we got happy as a team :) exhibit B:

and our crowd was fun :) exhibit C:

we won..it was the best game ever. dont worry :)
and THEN my best friend and i tried scaring patty after work..fail. exhibit D:

the video failed.. 

anyways, its a good way to start the break :)

just some pictures.

hope you enjoy!

forgiveness.

sometimes its hard to forgive the people that have wronged you. let me make something clear. i am not perfect. far from it. i have wrong people in my time. when you're in the situation, its that much harder. when someone crosses you the wrong way, sometimes it takes everything you've got to not just chew them out. however, we are mature people. we can do so. i'm trying to be better about gossip and i plan to get better. i dont like being talked about, do you?

so here i am. i forgive you. will you forgive me? i'm not asking for things to be how they used to be, i'm asking for the soft spot in your heart to shine through. please

goodbyes.

as we go through this crazy world, goodbyes are compulsory. they're agonizing, excruciating even. saying goodbye to a loved one, knowing you'll see them in the next life. saying goodbye to a sister that is moving to arizona for eight years. saying goodbye to bad habits, even though you know they'll roll around again. saying goodbye to bad experiences, ones that are impossible to forget. saying goodbye to the beautiful summer weather, and being warm. saying goodbye to your high school class, knowing you'll probably never associate with them again. saying goodbye to your bed every morning. saying goodbye to an ex-boyfriend; giving their clothes back, forgetting all the memories, the amazing moments you shared. & the little things that instantly remind you of them.

even though it seems impossible, with a little faith we can do it. so if you're reading this, and you're missing something that you've said goodbye to, know that i'm missing it too. and i'm here to listen.

somedays.

OH, i forgot. somebodys you just feel like being a 38.8 oz bag of frooties. blue raspberry to be exact.